Let’s face it – you can’t MAKE your cat do anything. But, if you’re lucky, here’s how to get your cat to sleep with you. With mutual consent. 

If you’re searching for this topic, chances are, your cat doesn’t sleep with you yet. Right? 

The first thing you should ask yourself is whether your cat trusts you. 

If you’ve had your cat for a while, then you might think this is a silly question. But with cats being suspicious by nature, you need to go above and beyond to earn your cat’s trust. 

For example, 

• When you call your cat’s name, does he/she trot over to you? 
• When you pet your cat, does he/she let you without hissing, scratching, or trying to bite you?
• When your cat is relaxed and sleepy, does he/she slow blink with you? 
• Does your cat show his/her belly when he/she is sleeping near you? 

If you answered no to more than two of the above questions, your cat doesn’t see you as a trustworthy figure. 

So, let’s see how you can earn your cat’s trust and then how to get your cat to sleep with you.

STEP 1: HOW TO GET YOUR CAT TO TRUST YOU

Give Your Cat Some Space

I know your cat is super cute and fluffy and soft and oh my gosh, I just want to pick him/her up. 

But, LEAVE HIM/HER ALONE. 

Honestly, so many family cats become bitter as the family expands in number because there are so many grabby hands. 

If your cat associates you with someone who constantly picks them up whenever they’re near, they won’t even want to come near you. 

So, that’s the first thing of getting your cat to trust you – give them space. 

Be The Only Food Provider

If you live with a roommate, a significant other, or other members of the family, be sure to be selfish here and be the ONLY person who gives your cat food and clean water at least twice a day. 

We’ll get into feeding more in the next step, but first and foremost, establish this rule that you are the only one to feed your cat. 

Hone Your Acting Skills of Being a Tree

Cats hate fast sudden movements and loud noise. 

Be sure to provide a calming energy with slow movements when you’re getting up from your chair or whatever activity you do. 

Avoid raising your voice. Add in some sweet talking to your cat. (I’m sure you already do). 

Bonus – you can play some music for cats in the house. My cats like David Teie’s music.  

Cat-Style Greetings

Greet your cat the cat way. That’s what is familiar to your cat. 

When your cat is near you, stick your hand out, palm facing down, and curve your fingers for your cat to rub its face on your fingers.

Give your cat scratches behind their ear. 

Avoid caressing the cat near the back of its body, because cats get intense stimulation there and don’t like it. 

Give lots of caresses and affection in a cat way in a gentle manner, but only when your cat wants to.

STEP 2: HOW TO GET YOUR CAT TO SLEEP WITH YOU

Once you’ve earned your cat’s trust, now it’s time to get to the good stuff – how to get your cat to sleep with you. 

Have Fresh Sheets 

I know it sounds weird, but my finicky cat, Nala, tends to reject sleeping with me when my sheets are nearing time for a wash. 

Whereas, she rarely resists my invitation when my sheets are fresh out of the dryer. 

I think it’s mainly because my other cat, Charlie, always sleeps on my bed. And, because Nala isn’t very fond of Charlie, if the sheets smell too much of Charlie, then she definitely turns her nose to me with a definite, “No thanks.”

On that note, if you have other animals that sleep with you but you’re desperate for that one certain cat to sleep with you, consider kicking out the other pets… just until your cat starts getting used to sleeping with you, that is. 

Chicken, Salmon Treats on Your Bed 

Lure your cat to your bed with the best of the best treats. 

Do this multiple times during the day. You may have to do this over time for your cat to associate your bed with treats. 

Basically, the point is to get your cat to purr on your bed as much as possible. 

Nala is a fanatic for chicken or salmon. She hisses at Charlie when he wants a little piece. 

While trying to win Nala’s heart, every night, I microwaved an individually packed chicken or salmon in my freezer, sat on my bed, and called Nala’s name. 

Both Nala & Charlie comes running when I do this because they already know it’s treat time. 

Nala then jumps onto my bed, starts purring like an idle engine, and enjoys her treats from my fingers. 

Don’t give up; just keep on doing this until she loves you and your bed. 

You can’t go wrong with chicken and salmon treats. 

Keep it Cold

During the winter, I don’t have to do much to entice Nala to sleep with me. 

I like to sleep cold under a warm duvet, so Nala is the one who insists she sleeps next to me for warmth. 

So, if you really want your cat to sleep with you, I encourage you to keep the heater down or off. 

Transport Your Cat When Sleepy

This maneuver is a bit sneaky, but you know that your cat will enjoy sleeping on your bed, so I don’t see it as malicious. In fact, this is what I do sometimes. 

When I retire to bed for the night and I see Nala sleeping on the cat tree or on the dining chair under the table by her lonesome self, I whisk her with ever so swift and gentle movements to my bed. 

I carefully slip under the covers and place her gently beside me over the covers as to not disturb her sleep. 

Then, I lie on my bed like a corpse so that when she looks around to see what the heck just happened, she feels comfortable and cozy enough that she’ll acquiesce. 

*Insert evil smile*

Play with Your Cat Before Bedtime

I saved the best for last. 

I’ve found that playing with Nala – like really playing with her so that she runs around for a good 30 minutes – has been the best way to bond with her. 

It’s hard to keep Nala on her toes with toys because she’s rather smart, so she gets bored quickly. 

With these tried and tested cat toys that Nala likes when I play with her before bedtime for a quality 30 minutes to an hour, she actually comes to me at night to sleep beside me. 

It is an honor that I don’t take for granted. 

I have to be really patient while playing with her, because sometimes she’s in the mood to run around, but sometimes it takes some coaxing to get her started. 

But, be patient and keep waving those toys around in front of her and it will be worth it.

*Note that I’m not a self-proclaimed cat whisperer and I’m not an expert on cat behavior. I am merely a cat lover and a friendly advocate of cats. And, I’ve had cats most my life. So, I don’t guarantee results, but I am merely sharing what worked for me in hopes that it will work for you too.